Terror on our Plains. Feature Correspondent T-Bone Rolston infiltrates an Amish terrorist training camp to expose this dangerous threat from within.

Bums: Screw 'em all! See how low a sewer urchin will sink for a half-eaten Quarter Pounder!

The Savage Skunk of Cooter County. Fiction? Polecat Tudpucker and his redneck pals go huntin' for a gay werewolf.

Brock Mason: Dressed for Success. Comic Feature. Brock takes on a biker gang at the Sturges Rally and breaks a heel.

Midget Mayhem. Tall Tales. They're tiny. They're scary and they're here to make a stand. (At least, we think they're standing.)

Hate Mail. Feedback. Letters from a bevy of angry readers--and we haven't even shipped the first issue!

Dear Sista. Advice. When she aint sing' hymns to the holiest of holies, she's teari' white boys a holey of their own.

True tales from the Toilet. Editor in Chief Mike Lackey shares his private humiliation of his public encounter with anal leakage.

Revenge! A dish best served with camel dung. Tayyib the Terrible invades your bathroom.

The Sunday Funnies. Comics. Just because your parents were too poor to get the Sunday paper doesn't mean you still have to miss out on all the fun!

Save Ya the Rental Fee. Movie Review. Film critic Steve Bunche gives you the lowdown on The Born Losers, the original Billy Jack cult classic.